Current D&D Game I – Prologue

Currently, we’ve got a D&D game set for Monday nights next semester, a round-table game where the GMing switches off every few weeks. As-of this week nothing has been done–people busy with homework, etc., so we’ve yet to go over the ground rules, setting details, etc. On top of that, four of the players are total noobs, as in have played a handful of sessions or less of d20, so rules and details would be incredibly helpful for something like this. However, what we do know is that we are being sent South to establish trading treaties with whoever lives there, only things go pretty bad for the characters involved.

Currently, the player pool is floating around 7, though the last two might not be able to make it. The characters are:

“The Bard,” who really doesn’t have any bardic talents (more on him much later…)
A Cleric, rather bland with low Intelligence, (Kevin got shit for rolls)
A feral jungle Druid/guide who spends his time swinging from trees at 60mph
“Grumens,” the two-fisted wizard researching (firsthand) lost ruins, with the help of his yellow possum familiar (who did the hully gully on the Panama Canal)
“The Fighter,” the bodyguard of “The Bard” and likewise has a past of secrets
“Teh Diplomat Nitsud,” the party’s rogue and envoy—the less said the better
“Log the (Nautical) Barbarian,” who would’ve been the world’s stupidest half-orc (with a Wisdom 3) until we said no and forced her to become a human (with Charisma 5)

Obviously, we have no names yet, and while the character concepts were supposed to be “as far away from D&D standards as possible,” only a few of us have actually broken stereotype. I think you can guess which ones.

Ok, fine, that would be myself as the feral jungle Druid and my roommate as the Indiana Jones wizard (you can’t beat playing against type like trying to be a badass with d4 hitdice). “The Bard” is the DM, and both he and his accomplice “The Fighter” aren’t really what they seem to be…not that we know that or anything. Especially in a world where Psionics are illegal.

However, the other three have these character concepts so lackluster that it’s sad. Nitsud had everything but a 10-foot-pole in his equipment section, and with his strength penalty he was at heavy encumbrance and crawled along with a base speed of nearly 5 ft/round, and Log has been an endless source of mockery given how dumb the chracter’s original min-maxed design was. They’ve also been running “practice combats,” which Nitsud keeps winning because Log trods on Teh Diplomat’s caltraps, allowing Nitsud to back up five feet and shoot her with his crossbow every round (I can’t begin to explain how horrible this is, both in conception and execution). Kevin tried to insert some character into his cleric, e.g. he wanted him to worship the sun god and take the Oracle domain so he could get prophecies by staring into the sun for too long, but other than that he’s been preoccupied to think of his character.

I’ll be sure to keep an updated game log on here (no relation to Log Teh Barbarianz) so we can fondly remember the game’s highlights. Or not.

The first rule about barbarians is we don’t talk about barbarians. The second rule about barbarians is we don’t talk about barbarians. The third rule about barbarians is…why are you still here?


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